The Ceremony Comes First (and Why It Should)
It’s funny, isn’t it?
The moment two people say yes to forever is technically the entire point of a wedding. And yet, it’s often the last thing anyone plans.
Couples spend months choosing florals, mood boards, seating charts, cocktail menus, and the perfect Spotify playlist. But when I ask, “So, how do you want your ceremony to feel?” I usually get a pause.
That’s when I gently remind them: without the ceremony, it’s just a very pretty party.
The Heart, Not the Filler
Here’s the truth: the ceremony isn’t the bit you have to “get through” before the cava.
It’s the heartbeat of the day. It’s where your guests stop scrolling, stop sweating, stop thinking about canapés, and actually feel something. And their sole focus is you two. The reason why they are there in the first place.
The speeches, the dinner, the dancing, they’re all echoes of this one moment when everything begins.
So why not plan it like the most important part of the day… because it is?
The Pinterest Trap
Pinterest and Instagram have done amazing things for weddings (thank you, almond blossom arches). But they’ve also made people think that what matters most is how it looks.
And please don’t get me wrong. I love beautiful things. At my own wedding, I definitely cared about the table decoration and the welcome sign. But the most unforgettable ceremonies I’ve seen weren’t about the backdrop. They were about the energy. The words. The tears that surprised even the groom who swore he wouldn’t cry.
You can’t stage that. You can only feel it.
Story First, Styling Second
When I create a ceremony, I start with your story. The tiny details that make your relationship yours. The way you met, the song that accidentally became your song, the moment you realised this was it.
My measurement of success is your guests leaving and thinking “That was so them”. Then, I’ve nailed it.
Once that emotional core is there, everything else, music, readings, even décor, starts to fall into place naturally. It all starts making sense, like a thread running through the entire day.
The Shift
The good news? More couples are realising this. They want weddings that feel like them, not weddings that look like someone else’s.
That’s why we’re seeing fewer generic ceremonies and more moments that sound like poetry, laughter, and inside jokes. And it’s why a good celebrant doesn’t just “officiate.” They translate love into words everyone can feel.
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The Bottom Line
Plan your ceremony first. Seriously.
It’s the part your guests will remember years from now. Not the shade of your table linens.
Everything else is decoration.
This part is meaning.
So before you pick the champagne tower or the saxophonist for cocktail hour, pick the person who will stand there with you, hold the space, and tell your story. Because that’s what turns a party into a wedding.
